I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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