I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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