I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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