i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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