When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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