do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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