I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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