God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He passed out mid-signature
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
