My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
