I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
