YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
