i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
