Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
