dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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