I must be too annoying 4 u.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I have demons in me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
