What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize