hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
