Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She's the barista slut.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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