I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I've blown a few things in my day
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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