I heard we made out
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
