Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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