4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
