Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
