we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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