My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize