Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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