So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
