hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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