so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Text me some of your sweat
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
