I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
