How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
