WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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