you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
