I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
