My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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