Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
