In the future we'll all be gay
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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