smell my finger.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
