it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
