:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
