just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
