oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
