I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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