after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
