Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
