I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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