4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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