i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
