This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
