is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
