apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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