rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
