Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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