I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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