ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
