Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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