Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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