I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize