i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize