the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
