its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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