Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
