you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
