So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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