Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
only if we run a train.
done.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize