just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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