I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
