you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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