So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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