I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
