Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
