How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
