look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
