hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
